We often use our body without noticing how we communicate non-verbally. In the latest workshop with a group of YPO (Young President Organisation) spouses and female leaders, we have explored how to read our body and repattern our unconscious strategies to replace them with more effective ones.
The Virginia Satir Systemic Work with fun exercises on the topic of happiness and ageing healthy with YPO London Gold Chapter.
The co-Founder of Institute of Virginia Satir in the UK, Darya Haitoglou, facilitates family enrichment process for a group of entrepreneurs in London.
The Virginia Satir Institute in London, UK have conducted a number of systemic workshops in the last months with the general public as well as business owners, therapists and international organisations such as YPO (Young President Organisation), The Cambridge University, clients from such companies as P&G, Coty, Microsoft, BP and others.
The Satir Change Model has been travelling around the world and helping hundreds of leaders and executives systemically change how they lead their organisations and operations on the ground. Here are some of the testimonials from the workshop Darya Haitoglou conducted this year in the UK: “Just realising the stressfulness of certain stances can be changed so simply into calming environments. The Change Model gave me another realisation to not stop and get caught in the Chaos, to carry on and great things will happen” – Rebecca “Really fascinating to find out more about the stress stances and how to apply the alternative stance positions in work and at home. Looking forward to trying these out with friends and family and finding out the results. Very useful quote from you: “safety and comfort are the worst enemies of growth” Thank you.” – Nick “What a fabulous way to spend a couple of hours! I came to be inspired and inspired I am. I am going to take time to understand my leadership style and my behaviour – and how I can reverse negative and unhelpful behaviour, and I will encourage my team to do the same” – Jo “Great session! I learned a lot about who I am and what makes me who I am” – Brett “Not at all what I was expecting! Refreshing to hear about a whole new way to look at myself and why I behave the way I do. And how I behave with other people and characters. Back to basics => understand yourself and what makes you tick to then become the best person you can be!” – Pippa “A thoroughly engaging session that has made me think about which ’emotional stance’ I am representing in both work and home life, but crucially how I can choose to change that as well as considering the emotional stance of other people in my life. ” – Mark If you are interested in learning more about Satir Family and Business constellations and Systemic Relationship Coaching, get in touch with us: info@virginiasatir.co.uk
The Satir Model is practised globally in the field of psychotherapy but has not been utilized to its full potential in the coaching and business world. Executive coaching, business coaching, and life coaching are growing professions and are estimated to be worth more than $12 billion combined in the United States alone. Coaching, as a practice, is used to support clients in reaching the desired outcome and has been practised in conjunction with Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). Since NLP bases its work on Virginia Satir as one of its primary models, incorporating more of the Satir Model into coaching may enhance the work of executive, corporate, business and life coaches. With the ENRICH model of coaching described in this paper, the author combines cognitive and somatic elements in an innovative approach to coaching. This paper aims to bridge the existing gap and present a Satir Coaching Model as a system of practical tools for coaches and trainers in both business and life-coaching field. The Satir International Journal Article
For all coaches interested in expanding their skills in knowledge about Virginia Satir and her systemic approach to coaching, here is the file that combines the model principles and main applications for corporate and business coaching. Satir Model in Coaching
Stance-Dance workshop in Israel was warmly perceived and we have learned how to move from inner-stress in organizations and companies to a more resourceful state of peaceful communication and clarity. We have looked into the depth of our inter-personal communication in our families and how that reflects on our relationships at work.
Big news for the UK Satir Institute: In the 4th Volume of the International Satir Journal, an article on the Stance-Dance was published (link to the full article here) There we looked into the application of the Virginia Satir stress-stances and the flow-stances as part of the Stance-Dance: Integrative Movement Therapy. 5 Stance-Dances: 1.Blamer – Peaceful Warrior Stress: A blaming stance or ‘Blamer’ is a stance when a person takes a position of blaming someone or something else, without taking responsibility for themselves. The underlying need is to be protected, safe and respected. Physically this stance would be represented by a person pointing a finger with a stretched arm leaning forward on one front leg. Front leg is one and a half shoulders’ lengths apart and slightly bent. Back hand is on a waist. The feeling in this position is not balanced and strain on the shoulders. Flow: Peaceful Warrior is an anti-dote to the Blamer. It is a position that is driven by the need of protection and safety, similarly to ‘Blamer’, but more congruent. Physically, the stretched arm goes up above the head, with a palm open, tip of fingers facing up. Looking above, the position quickly turns to be more resourceful and peaceful albeit strong and energetic. 2. Placator – Power Tree Stress: Placating stance or ‘Placator’ is a stance when a person takes a position of a victim and takes full responsibility onto themselves. The underlying need is for love & care as well as strength & stability. Physically this stance would be represented by a person bending one knee and putting it on the ground. Looking from down up, making a begging sign with their hands, as though asking for forgiveness. Upper body and head slightly bent on one side, palms are open facing up. A position is not comfortable and strain on one side of the body, which is bent. Flow: Power Tree is an anti-dote to the Placator stance. It is a position that helps create balance and brings stability and strength to the body. Physically it would be represented by standing up from a placating stance and raising both straight arms above the head. Feet: shoulders’ width apart. Head: looking straight with a light smile. For an advanced position, one can bend one leg and put a foot on the inner thigh of the other leg. 3. Super-Reasonable – Humble Monk Stress: Super-Reasonable stance or ‘Computer’ is a stance when a person hides real emotions behind logic and facts. A ‘Computer’ generally prefers to use a monologue or a critique when under stress. The underlying need is for understanding and wisdom as well as for being in peace. Physically that is represented by folded arms and one arm’s pointy finger touching a cheek, or a finger pointing towards the ceiling. The body weight is on one leg creating an unbalanced position for the body. Flow: Humble Monk is an anti-dote to Super-Reasonable stance. The body becomes straight and palms touch on the heart’s level in a ‘Namaste’ sign. Head: facing straight with a slight smile. 4. Distractor – Core Harmonizer Stress: Distracting stance is a position when a person doesn’t want to face a tough reality and prefers to deviates to a different topic and hides the feelings behind other agenda. A person generally brings humour or skips difficult subjects, even adds chaos, in order to create emotional stability and harmony without initiating a conflict. Physically that would be represented by a person moving arms in front of other people’s faces to distract their attention. Slightly bent on one side and looking from down up laughing. Flow: Core Harmonizer is the anti-dote to a distracting stance. It is a stable and harmonious position that helps a person feel courage and peace with a tough reality around them. Physically arms relax, palms open up, body strengthens and finds its core (similar to a Tai Chi neutral position) with slightly bent knees and straight spine. 5. Withdrawer – World Hugger Stress: Withdrawing stance or ‘Withdrawer’ is a stance when a person moves away from discussing a difficult situation and stops talking, ‘shuts down’ from external reality. The underlying need for this stance is trust, openness and touch, the very things a person moves away from, which is counter-intuitive. Physically this stance is represented by folded arms and turning away from the other person. Flow: World Hugger is an anti-dote to the withdrawing stance. Instead of moving away, the ‘World Hugger’ moves in and opens the arms as though they want to hug the whole world. It is a resourceful stance of hugging is considered to be connected to a ‘hug’ hormone, oxytocin.
WHAT IS STANCE-DANCE? In the world of stress and fast-pace communication there is a longing for tranquility and peace. STANCE-DANCE beautifully combines movement, stillness and rhythm to create an opportunity to release fear, relax from stress and move into more congruent behaviours and fruitful states such as joy, happiness, lightness, peace, confidence, strength and serenity. The practice stems from Siberian dance, dynamic yoga and systemic family therapy[1]. It is an easy to practice method of self-expression that helps create a healthy dialogue between mind and body. Highly beneficial for people who… lack movement in every-day life have low self-esteem are in need of self-expression suffer mood-swings go through a stressful period feel stuck in their life want to have more joy and happiness want to feel light and free seek confidence and inner-strength look for bliss and serenity want to raise self-esteem Principles & Theoretical Underpinnings: Movement has two directions: contracting and expanding. With STANCE-DANCE we move towards the latter. Changing physiology we can change neurology. Non-verbal communication is involuntary. Phenomenological experience is underpinned by mirror-neurons. Information is stored in the body and can be transformed. Perception of behavioral models influences embodied experience, hence changing visual perception of relationship, changes our reality. Relational Map is not a Territory. Inquiry into a broader perspective is needed. Space & Time are mental constructs. By being ’here & now’ we increase chances of ‘healing’ the past and making effective choices in future. Projected visualization of past-experienced relationship models opens a possibility to look at them from a distance. This process raises awareness of what is, and is healing on its own. Dancing from incongruent stance towards a better stance is therapeutic. 5 Stance-Dances: Blamer – Peaceful Warrior Stress: A blaming stance or ‘Blamer’ is a stance when a person takes a position of blaming someone or something else, without taking responsibility for themselves. The underlying need is to be protected, safe and respected. Physically this stance would be represented by a person pointing a finger with a stretched arm leaning forward on one front leg. Front leg is one and a half shoulders’ lengths apart and slightly bent. Back hand is on a waist. The feeling in this position is not balanced and strain on the shoulders. Flow: Peaceful Warrior is an anti-dote to the Blamer. It is a position that is driven by the need of protection and safety, similarly to ‘Blamer’, but more congruent. Physically, the stretched arm goes up above the head, with a palm open, tip of fingers facing up. Looking above, the position quickly turns to be more resourceful and peaceful albeit strong and energetic. 2. Placator – Power Tree Stress: Placating stance or ‘Placator’ is a stance when a person takes a position of a victim and takes full responsibility onto themselves. The underlying need is for love & care as well as strength & stability. Physically this stance would be represented by a person bending one knee and putting it on the ground. Looking from down up, making a begging sign with their hands, as though asking for forgiveness. Upper body and head slightly bent on one side, palms are open facing up. A position is not comfortable and strain on one side of the body, which is bent. Flow: Power Tree is an anti-dote to the Placator stance. It is a position that helps create balance and brings stability and strength to the body. Physically it would be represented by standing up from a placating stance and raising both straight arms above the head. Feet: shoulders’ width apart. Head: looking straight with a light smile. For an advanced position, one can bend one leg and put a foot on the inner thigh of the other leg. 3. Super-Reasonable – Humble Monk Stress: Super-Reasonable stance or ‘Computer’ is a stance when a person hides real emotions behind logic and facts. A ‘Computer’ generally prefers to use a monologue or a critique when under stress. The underlying need is for understanding and wisdom as well as for being in peace. Physically that is represented by folded arms and one arm’s pointy finger touching a cheek, or a finger pointing towards the ceiling. The body weight is on one leg creating an unbalanced position for the body. Flow: Humble Monk is an anti-dote to Super-Reasonable stance. The body becomes straight and palms touch on the heart’s level in a ‘Namaste’ sign. Head: facing straight with a slight smile. 4. Distractor – Core Harmonizer Stress: Distracting stance is a position when a person doesn’t want to face a tough reality and prefers to deviates to a different topic and hides the feelings behind other agenda. A person generally brings humour or skips difficult subjects, even adds chaos, in order to create emotional stability and harmony without initiating a conflict. Physically that would be represented by a person moving arms in front of other people’s faces to distract their attention. Slightly bent on one side and looking from down up laughing. Flow: Core Harmonizer is the anti-dote to a distracting stance. It is a stable and harmonious position that helps a person feel courage and peace with a tough reality around them. Physically arms relax, palms open up, body strengthens and finds its core (similar to a Tai Chi neutral position) with slightly bent knees and straight spine. 5. Withdrawer – World Hugger Stress: Withdrawing stance or ‘Withdrawer’ is a stance when a person moves away from discussing a difficult situation and stops talking, ‘shuts down’ from external reality. The underlying need for this stance is trust, openness and touch, the very things a person moves away from, which is counter-intuitive. Physically this stance is represented by folded arms and turning away from the other person. Flow: World Hugger is an anti-dote to the withdrawing stance. Instead of moving away, the ‘World Hugger’ moves in and opens the arms as though they want to hug the whole world. It is a resourceful stance of hugging is considered to be connected …